he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
Randomize
