i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
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