party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Randomize
