elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
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