p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Randomize
