May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
