i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
Randomize
