does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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