and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Randomize
