Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
