I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Randomize
