Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
