I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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