i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Randomize
