Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
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