But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
