So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Randomize
