Non-Jews are for practice
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
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