My hand turned me down
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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