I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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