Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
