why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize
