it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
