so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
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