you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
