so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Randomize
