Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
We need to rekindle our bromance
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
