in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Randomize
