the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
