she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
operation have a gay friend backfired
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
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