Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
You have to summon your inner elephant
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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