Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
It's official drugs can't kill me
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
After tacos, we're chasing women.
i think i just lost a toe
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