is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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