I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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