hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
