so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
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