Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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