Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
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