If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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