apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
I came so hard my ears popped.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
