I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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