i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Randomize
