i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
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