I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Randomize
