I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Randomize
