Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I wish my penis had an off switch
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
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