Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Randomize
