Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
he laminated a picture of his dick.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Randomize
