Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
