I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
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