How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
