Betty ford says i'm here all night
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
