i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Randomize
